Across the Class
by ComingToYouLive
Summary: Schoolboy Brendan wants something he can't have... Short little multi-chapter fic so I can get my head around writing again... it's been a while...
1. Chapter 1

Brendan watches him from across the class, just looking.

He watches him a lot, just copping some glances here and there, admiring his beauty.

It's been two years and eight months since he realised he loved him.

Love? Is that what this is? Love?

He's just a kid, sixteen, shouldn't know what love is, but he does, he knows.

Steven doesn't know, of course.

Steven's straight after all, doesn't look at Brendan in that way, or in any way, they don't really know each other that well.

Steven catches him sometimes, and Brendan pulls the I'm-pretending-to-look-around-idly-but-I-was-reall y-looking-at-you face.

It makes Brendan's heart pound when Steven looks at him, knowing that Steven is going out of his way to look at him, too.

It's just not the look Brendan's wants Steven to give him, it's a look with no meaning at all.

::: :::

They walk home together a few days later at lunch time.

Brendan only lives less than five minutes away from the school, and Steven's granny lives around the corner from Brendan.

They never met before secondary school, which surprised Brendan seeing as Steven's family lived so close.

Brendan was all smiles the entire way as they talked about this and that and nothing at all.

As they walked their hands brushed together, and Brendan felt as if his heart was going to explode at the rate it was beating.

They laughed together at one of Steven's jokes and it was a little awkward but he was enjoying it at least.

He saw this as progress, they were getting closer. He felt warm inside.

Eventually they came to a point where they had to part ways, and Steven turned to his grannies house on the left, and Brendan turned right to go home.

As he walked up the road he turned around and watched Steven walk.

Steven didn't look back.

::: :::

When Brendan walked back, he half expected to meet Steven on the way.

He didn't.

He didn't see him in the social area either, or when he was at his locker.

He wasn't in geography either, or Spanish.

He wasn't in school at all.

It kinda dampened his good mood a bit.

::: :::

Brendan didn't do his homework for Ms. Ferguson again, and he was going to get killed if he didn't hand up his assignment.

He had no choice but copy Macca's essay during small break in the social area.

It was a difficult maneuver, but he managed to balance two copy books on one arm and write with his free hand.

Eventually Macca's copy slipped onto the floor, and as he bent down to pick it up, he was interrupted by another hand that got there first.

He looked up to find Steven smiling at him, holding the copy.

''Miss me?'', he grinned.

Brendan smiled. Steven hadn't been in for over a week and Brendan was getting kinda worried if he was honest.

Steven didn't stay for long, and he went off to get a couple of books from his locker. The warmth was back inside Brendan.

::: :::

They walked home together at lunch again that day.

Brendan felt so free when they were alone, like he could be himself no matter what.

They both just smiled away ranting about school and Ms. Ferguson who gave Brendan a detention for not doing his homework again.

Despite his anger he couldn't help but smile.

On his way back he met Steven again, and they walked in silence for the most part.

Brendan looked ahead as they walked, noticing Steven looking at him in the corner of his eye, making him smile.

Steven questioned it of course, and Brendan just plays it off as nothing.

::: :::

The last bell on a Friday brings classes to a close, and it couldn't have come sooner.

Brendan and Macca fought their way to their lockers, squeezing past the crowds of students trying to get to their own lockers.

After a couple of shoves and a couple of elbows, they get their stuff and head down the corridor.

Brendan feels a hand on his shoulder and before he knows it he's being spun around.

''Going somewhere Mr. Brady? You've got detention, remember?'', Ms. Ferguson interrupts.

''Ah, but it's Fri-'', he tries.

''No buts. Room two, now''.

She guides Brendan down the hall, and Brendan turns to find Macca laughing at him, to which Brendan replies with his middle finger.

As he writes his lines in detention, he sees Steven out the window, knowing he won't see him again until Monday.

::: :::

It's a slow weekend, and he knows why. For the first time in a long time he's actually looking forward to a Monday, or school.

Monday arrives after what felt like years, and Steven's nowhere in sight. He's late, and as it turns out it's because he broke his ankle on Saturday and he's still getting used to life on crutches.

Brendan sits in the Art room, watching Steven through the window struggle with his locker, trying to balance himself while balancing books while balancing his bag until his books fall to the floor.

He wants to help him but he knows he can't leave the room, instead he watches the man suffer until he makes it there in the end.

He supposes it's better that he learns to find his feet again, but still, he wants to be there for him.

By lunch time he's forgotten about the idea of letting him do things himself, and when Steven drops his books again he jumps into action.

As he walks over to save the day, he's beaten to it by Amy Barnes.

He feels anger rising in him when they walk off down the hall talking and smiling at each other.

He hates her already.


	2. Chapter 2

He spends most of his time with her now, that Amy girl.

She's only been in the school a couple of days and she's already trying it on with all the lads.

One lad in particular.

A trollop is what she is.

Brendan can barely get a word in with that one always getting in the way.

It's like they're in competition for his attention and she doesn't even know it.

He hasn't spoken to Steven in a couple of days, it's like he's made no progress at all, but he does his best to help Steven out with the whole sprained ankle thing.

The other day he saw Steven limping out of the school alone, and he was clearly struggling to move on his crutches with the heavy bag on his back.

As usual, Amy was there to ruin his chances, until he went for it, racing up to him and leaving Macca behind.

He looked desperate but he didn't care.

Before Steven had the chance to refuse, Brendan was taking his bag and swinging it around his left shoulder.

Steven gave him a shy smile, a smile that lasted the entire way home.

Brendan walked him the whole way home that day, ignoring Steven's protests that he could take it from here.

Steven thanked him, placing a soft hand on Brendan's arm, before going inside, not before taking one last look at Brendan as he closed the door.

Brendan walked away, his heart in his mouth.

::: :::

Brendan didn't do his homework for Ms. Ferguson. Again.

She always wanted to make excuses for him: trouble at home, the class moving too fast. The list goes on.

And once again he's earned himself another detention after school today.

He felt slightly embarrassed, getting told off by a teacher with Steven sitting just meters away.

The feeling resigned, though, upon hearing that Steven, too, didn't do his homework, and had also earned himself a detention.

Brendan felt a little light-headed.

::: :::

Brendan was actually looking forward to a detention.

He saw it as a common occurrence lately, him looking forward to things he normally hates.

Usually it's because Steven's involved.

He was looking forward to it, but also had a residing nervousness in the pit of his stomach.

He didn't know why, it's not like they've never been alone before.

He didn't really know what he was going to say to him, that was, until he saw Amy walking him to detention.

That's when he knew what or who to talk about.

::: :::

By the end of the day, Brendan had felt as lost as ever.

Nothing had been clarified on his end: Steven liked Amy, but he didn't know in what way.

Did he like her or did he _like _her?

He didn't want to make things weird between them, and he didn't want to come across as needy, even if he was.

And it's not like Steven's going to come out to Brendan, who he barely even notices, and he's even less likely to declare love for Brendan either.

He should just give up now.

::: :::

Brendan watched Steven in their social area, standing there alone.

He wanted so much to go over and talk to him, but he needed to distance himself from him, until his feelings go away.

Him distancing himself wasn't going so well.

He couldn't take his eyes off him, and being away from him only made him want to be with Steven more.

Love is like any other addiction, if you fight it long enough sooner or later it will go away.

This was a fight he was willing to lose already, but he had to push to defeat this _thing_ that he has for Steven.

For his sanity more than anything else.

He couldn't get Steven out of his head. All he does in class is daydream about different ways they'll end up together.

Sometimes Steven makes the first move, sometimes Brendan makes the first move.

Sometimes Steven tells him he loves him, sometimes it's Brendan.

Sometimes even Brendan realises it will never happen.

::: :::

There's a new girl in Brendan's class.

Anne Minniver, he thinks her name is.

He gets stuck beside her in Business, and his initial distaste for her soon wears thin and they end up having a laugh together.

He looks back to see Steven sitting at the desk behind him staring at his book, no interest in him whatsoever.

Steven will never take any interest in him. Not in the way Brendan wants him to anyway.

He knows what it must look like, him being a guy, and her being a girl, talking, laughing, aimlessly flirting. It must look like they're really hitting it off.

He might get a pat on the back for it later from Macca.

At the end of class Steven just passes him on his way out, not even acknowledging his presence in the room. He looks a little sad, probably just had a fight with Amy. He hopes so.

::: :::

He met with Macca after the final bell, found him staring at Anne in the social area with distaste.

''What's up with you?'', Brendan asked, following Macca's eyes firmly planted on Anne. He snapped out of the daze that he was in.

''Oh, nothing'', he muttered, looking at Brendan now.

''You don't like Anne?''. Macca gave him the how-did-you-know? look. ''Your eyes said it all''. Macca blushed a little, averting his gaze somewhere else and turning his head so Brendan couldn't see his eyes. ''So? Why don't you like her?''. Macca walked forward, heading out the door as Brendan followed. ''Macca?''.

''It's just something about her I don't like''.

''Like what?''.

''Can we just leave it Brendan?''.

''All right, yeah. For now''. Macca sighed. Sometimes Brendan just didn't understand what was going on in his best friend's mind. ''You wanna come back to mine?''. Macca perked up a little. ''We can play a bit of Fifa on the Xbox''. Macca deflated slightly, but kept the smile on his face all the same.

''Yeah, yeah all right''. The walk to Brendan's was silent, so he decided to make some small talk.

''Business was good today, I thought''.

''Yeah, I saw you with Anne''.

''I was thinkin' of asking her out sometime''. Macca said nothing to that, just kept walking. ''Ah, I see what this is about. You want her for yourself don't ye?''.

''No. I don't want her''.

''What do ye want?''.

''Nothing. Ask her out, it's none of my business''. He paused for a minute. ''You two weren't the only ones who hit it off today''.

''Ah, you already have a girl'', Brendan smiled.

''Not me. That Steven lad and the new girl. They're together now as well''.

Brendan stopped walking, the pain of his heart being torn down the middle filling his senses.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the lovely reviews and sorry for the wait! I know the chapters have been extremely short but I'm gonna start writing longer ones from chapter 4 onwards x**

His immediate reaction was the feeling of sadness, and then anger, and then jealousy. That bitch, who was she to just waltz in here and win him over in the space of a couple of weeks, when it's took him years to get this far? Stupid blonde cow.

He stormed ahead of Macca, trying to act casual but not exactly coming off as nonchalant. He ignored Macca's calls for him to slow down.

He grabbed Brendan's hand, spinning him around. He gripped his hand tightly, and Brendan let him to the point where they were just standing there holding hands. He looked away from Macca's smiling face, realising what he was doing, reefing his hand away.

''What are ye doing?''. Macca's face dropped.

''Nothing... I was just trying to slow you down''. Brendan stared at him, saying nothing before turning around and walking away.

''I'm going home''.

''What about Fifa?'', he called after him. Brendan said nothing in reply, and he walked away with his heart pounding in his chest, and he was on the verge of letting a tear slip down his face. Macca liked him? Macca was his best friend, he couldn't like him. It doesn't matter anyway because he loves Steven, but he likes Amy, and Amy likes him.

He wanted to throw up.

::: :::

He drowsily opened his locker the next day, not paying attention to anything that was happening around him. He felt a hand on his shoulder as he got spun around. Anne was beaming a smile at him.

''What happened to you last night? You're a wreck!''. Brendan sighed, rubbing his forehead.

''Thanks'', he muttered. He was up all night, tossing and turning in bed, trying to push his thoughts to the back of his brain, until he couldn't fight it anymore. He sat up, thinking what he was going to do next. He thought of nothing.

He walked off to class, saying nothing. He said nothing all morning, and he even passed an opportunity to help Ste with his cast. He didn't even notice when Macca didn't approach him, or even sit next to him in class.

He was stood in the social area at break, when Ste walked in, dropping his books on the floor. Despite the anger and jealousy he held against him, he couldn't help but stare at the man's arse as he bent down to pick them up.

He was lost in it, and he didn't care who saw. He was woken from his daze by Anne.

''What are ya lookin' at?'', she asked, trying to follow the directions of his eyes. Her smile faded slightly, when he looked at her.

''What?'', he asked, trying to act nonchalant.

''Nothing'', she smiled awkwardly. ''Anyway, I'm having a party. Tomorrow''.

''Tomorrow? Anne, you've lived here for like an hour''.

''Yeah, but what's a better way to get to know people?''.

''I guess''.

''You coming?''.

''I have work until nine but yeah I'll drop by later on''.

''Okay'', she smiled, walking off awkwardly.

''See ye''. He turned around, sighing, holding his face in his hands. He felt a tap on his shoulder, and he almost wanted to ignore it. He raised his head up to find Steven in front of him, smiling.

''Hey, Brendan'', he smiled. He said nothing in reply. His heart was hammering, and he was shaky. They hadn't spoke in weeks. ''Did we get any Business homework yesterday?''. Brendan stood there, watching him, hardly taking anything he said in. ''Brendan?''. He flinched out of his daze, clearing his throat and standing straight.

''Ehm, I don't know. You should ask Doug, he probably knows''. Steven's smile faded a little, before he muttered a 'Thank you' and turned away from him. He stopped and looked back at him.

''Are you okay, Brendan?''.

''Yeah'', he croaked. ''Fine''. Steven nodded and turned around, walking away. Brendan released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, and fell against the wall, trying to catch his breath. His heart was in his mouth. He didn't know how much longer he could try and faze Steven out. He didn't think it could ever get easier.

* * *

Brendan stood behind the bar, counting down the minutes on the clock. In two hours he was free to do whatever the hell he wanted. He didn't want to go to this party Anne was throwing but he felt like he had to, they were friends after all, and it would be rude not to.

He watched the door, staring at the people walking by, one of them being Macca. Now's a perfect chance to relieve the awkwardness between them.

''Macca!'', he called, catching his attention from outside. He gave a shaky smile, and looked reluctant as he walked inside. ''You goin' Anne's later?''.

''Ah, I don't know, Brendan. I don't think I'm invited''.

''Nonsense, the whole year's invited. And if not, you can be my plus one''. Macca smiled at that, and Brendan felt as if they were getting somewhere again. And he was both relieved and happy at the fact.

''Yeah, alright. I might as well go then''.

''Yeah, ye might as-''.

''What's this?'', a voice asked from behind him. Both of their faces dropped when they realised who it was and Brendan stilled. Seamus. Macca didn't know the full extent of Seamus' actions towards Brendan, but Brendan's come into school on a number of occasions with a few cuts on bruises on his body and face. Macca wasn't stupid, and all it took was for him to put two and two together. He wasn't sure if it was true, but Brendan's reaction to Seamus standing behind him said other wise. ''Minor's in my pub?''.

''It's just Macca, Dad. I called him in to ask him something''.

''Do ye want me to be arrested, son?''. _Is that a trick question?, _Brendan thought to himself.

''No, Dad. Sorry''. Seamus tried to speak but was interrupted by Macca.

''It's okay, Mr Brady, I'm gonna head anyway''. He gave Brendan a look of warning before leaving.

''Alright see ye, son'', Seamus muttered, before snarling at Brendan and walking into the back.

Brendan had plans for Macca tonight.

**Thanks for reading! Please review as it makes me happy x**


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